How can I be sure....

The average med student has, or will accumulate, over $250,000 in debt.

I just broke $40K. I'm not even a junior in college.

A question I constantly ask myself is whether this will all be worth it. I'm not sure if many other students in my position ask themselves this. I can say, however, if they don't, they definitely should be.

I spend hours a day studying the required sciences, writing the pointless lab reports, and reading books on Buddhism. This doesn't bother me.

I spend hundreds of dollars on gas and car repairs so that I can get back and forth between my home and my clinical site. This doesn't bother me.

I spend the time, that I should use to be relaxing and unwinding, catching up on work. This doesn't bother me.

What bothers me is the thought of medicine not being worth it. The thought that after the years of brutal treatment, painfully long hours, and bullshit bureaucracy there is nothing left. What scares me is the idea of devoting my college years, money, time, and ultimately my life to medicine while not receiving anything in return.

Medicine is not something that someone can just get out of. After deciding to be a doctor, you are pretty much locked in. Taking on massive amounts of debt commands a large salary. I frequently hear that if physicians had no debt, they would leave medicine forever. This scares me.

While I've done my best to prepare for what I'm attempting to get into, there is no way to be truly ready. Sure, I've shadowed and volunteered. I've read books and asked questions. I've seen happy doctors. I've seen miserable doctors. There is no way to be fully prepared for what I'm striving for. And by then, it may be too late.

I've learned recently that going into medicine is a huge gamble. Not only because of the future of health care in this country, but also because you'll never really know what it's like until your in it. Even if I go into medicine and decide it's not for me, I'm stuck. I'll be a quarter of a million dollars in debt. I'll be held hostage in field that could devour me.

Deciding to matriculate to medical school is taking a huge leap of faith. How can I be sure it's what I want....