A new day

This morning, I felt optimistic about pursuing medicine. However, as the day progressed, I increasingly doubted my decision. I'm not really sure why. It could be the lack of sleep or the fact that I'm burnt out. Every day its something new that I feel is holding me back. Naturally, I spent a good deal of the day weighing the pros and cons. It was at this point that I realized I base the majority of my decisions on one thing: money.

I'm struggling this year. It's been a tough two semesters. Not so much last semester as this one. I haven't gotten the grades I want and am a less competitive applicant than I would like. They are not "bad" grades. They are just not good enough. Typically, people in my situation do one of three things. They'll apply and hope they get in somewhere. They'll take 5+ years getting a degree or do post-bac work. Or, they'll go for an SMP, a junior college for medicine. These are all options of mine. However, I don't necessarily like any of them. It all comes down to money.

Five years of undergrad is more money. An SMP is about the same, cost-wise, as medical school. That's like 5 years of med school tuition. Applying to medical school? Some applicants spend $12k just on their applications.

These options just add to the chaos. Sure, I'm lucky I have options. Unfortunately, all I see are dollar signs.